Humanity’s Test

Covid-19 is a wakeup call. A massive blaring siren. It’s screaming at us to look around and be bigger and better than only ourselves in our own tiny little lives. Ironic how, in a world that is already so mentally disconnected, physical disconnection hits just a tad bit harder.

Some call it a pain. Some call it a break. Some even call it a lesson.

But COVID-19 is a test. The test of perspective. How are you doing so far?

Q1. Each and every day is:

CHOICE 1: a platter of agony.

CHOICE 2: a branch of strength.

CHOICE 3: identical to the last.

Subjective to how this tornado waltzed into your life, you’re probably stuck on one of the three.

No matter where you are in your life, no matter what you do to cope, no matter how much you care and no matter how hard it gets: perspectives mold decisions and those decisions end up changing you. This virus will leave us as different individuals, having deeper views on what we encountered, on how we dealt with it and what we learnt. Thus, forever changed from the magnitude of what we went through.

This is what I want to talk about. This process of change- for some, this episode of introspection and for others, this chapter of grief. So,

Q2. How do you ace any test? Easy. Study.

Q3. How do you ace humanity’s test? You can’t.

We, as a species, are going through a phase I would like to call The Run of Resilience. Cheesy? Yes. But stay with me. These circumstances have gone way beyond just testing our response framework and basic healthcare mechanisms. It has provided us with an arduous mental routine straying us from our customary pattern of living life.

We are “locked up” but “with conscious volition.”

Paradoxical. Difficult. Doable.

That’s the beauty of the human mind. We make conscious decisions. We disfavour ourselves for those decisions, but we exercise them anyways because we know what’s right.

So, how do we deal with this conscious neglect of what we wish for? Personal perspective.

“It’s not worth it.” “I think it’ll be better if I wait.”  “This is not even a choice.” “Argh I need to get out.”  “Who cares if I get out. I’m a free individual.”

My point being: How we look at this virus will decide what we do. What we do will decide how this virus will affect us. How it affects us will decide how we look at the virus. And the cycle keeps going.

So, we may not feel the gravity of perspective when locked within the comfort of our home, but it’s there.

Here, I leave you with one thought: Choose your perspective on the virus carefully- your perspective shapes your thought and thus, paves your path.

Gun control.

“I don’t want prayers. I want gun control.”

Imagine yourself sitting in a classroom, studying some boring and informative piece of history, just counting down the minutes. You’re rotating your pencil on your fingertips, thinking about going home, when suddenly                *BANG *

You drop the pencil. There’s a body in a pool of blood. Wait. That’s your teacher. What? What just-?                    *BANG*                                                          There goes your favourite friend. You can’t hear. There’s ringing in your ears. Your legs are shaking. You can’t move but you’re trying. You fall to the ground and crawl. There are legs and shoes and stomping all around you. You’re scared. You hear screams. You look to your left and a person is crying. There are shots fired-you know that-but where? You can’t think. Its all too fast. 

Get out.                                                                                                                                                   Get out.                                                                                                                                                    Get out.


How do I get out?

Annually, nearly 2,900 children and teens (ages 0 to 19) are shot and killed, and nearly 15,600 are shot and injured. The effects of gun violence reach far beyond the physical agony caused by bullets. It shapes the mindsets of kids who have lived through the trauma of being shot, witnessed it or even lost a loved one. Once a school shooting takes place, not only does the shock of that day stay but the grief affects everyone in different ways. You could say that it indirectly shapes the lives of all those present when those bullets were shot. Academic decline, therapists for trauma relief, evident behavioural changes, depression, etc. are all examples of what kids deal with once they live through the incident.

Threat assessment programs have been introduced in many schools to help them assess and identify the students who could be potential threats and, thereon, provide these kids with the help they might need.

Now, gun violence is also extremely common in middle class households. Statistically speaking, children are frequent casualties of domestic violence homicides when guns are involved. It’s not easy. It never is. For this purpose, youth-centric intervention programs do also exist to help kids to cope with witnessing firearm violence. Of course, not everyone voices the truth. Some undergo firearm violence and then lie about it to doctors and friends. This is not cowardice- as some of you may think- but for them, it’s survival.

black and white hands mask bussinesman
Suicidal ideation along with easy firearm access can be lethal.

So, not only for the sake of those who are kept shut by firearm violence, but also for those who suffer from past traumatic episodes, comprehensive gun safety laws are and should be actively encouraged in every state in every country.

Don’t get me wrong, there are NO countries with no gun laws in the world but there are countries that are extremely lenient when it comes to gun safety laws. At the end of the day, the smallest detail could have the greatest impact.

The power of speech.

Expression: The most powerful tool we possess to make an impact on the system of rule, barriers of liberty, branches of justice and position of the public. It can be in the form of articulation, the way we dress, the differences in our diction, etc etc.

If taken away, we are powerless. Not being able to use our views and sentiments for whatever intent is infuriating and vexing. Its makes you feel as though you are being blocked behind invisible walls that grow each time you try to break free and reach out for freedom. It’s as though these walls are feeding on and absorbing your screams, growing higher by using your tears as plaster and preventing the world from seeing the true condition of your spirit.

Many of us undergo a downward spiral in life by bottling up and stacking away our true emotions. Of course this is not true for all. In fact, this method of dealing with situations helps a few of us to push through tough times. But if we don’t talk, then we don’t communicate. And if we don’t communicate, then no change can be brought about. This world needs change–it is imperative for our survival.

black and white black and white depressed depression
Unexpressed emotions never die.

I slowly realised that if the dejection in you is prolonged and you feel as though you aren’t making any progress, then you often won’t realise when you spiral into a depression. It’s all covered by the facade of “oh, its just a phase” or ” you’re having a bad week” or ” it’s fine, it’ll be over soon.” Most people in depression don’t even know what state they are in because they subconsciously don’t want to admit it.

Depression has become such a talking point in the social arena that people are ashamed to admit that they are undergoing such a traumatising period. They often deny it without realising that they are sinking deeper and deeper.

I don’t blame them for doing this. Why? Mainly because in a world of social media where everyone is ostentatiously  “living the Saturday life” and “eating brunch on Sundays” and “going to Miami for a honeymoon” …who would want to be the only loser going through a depression? Right? Wrong.

Speak. Make a difference. You can say a word or start a riot, but express yourself. Don’t be oppressed. Don’t be dominated. Don’t be scared.


Against the social order.

“Look at me!”

It’s funny how three simple words can be used and interpreted in so many different ways. They can be said with narcissism, frustration, humiliation, excitement, despondency,  sarcasm, humour, melancholy… i could go on and on but you get the point.

I, personally, have experienced all the above ways of expressing these words. We live in such a society where being thin is something to be proud of. I was bullied for not being thin, so you can understand where i’m coming from. However, many people are not able to pull through from that. They succumb to the pressure and let it get to them.

“What’s a little bit of hunger?” they say. Little do they know that not eating that cheesecake is pushing them further to reaching that hospital bed with low blood sugar levels and critical underweight situations. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame society. But I do feel that the images we portray of these “perfect” women is a facade.

grayscale photo of woman covering her face by her hand
Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy

We are never perfect in our eyes.   

So starving, throwing up and going through surgical makeovers in order to ruin your unrefined and raw beauty with the object of gaining someone else’s happiness is vacuous. Don’t lose yourself in the pool of self-deprecation filled to the brim with other’s condescending words and opinions.

Anorexia Nervosa. That’s the deep end of this pool until you ultimately fade away. A realisation hit me that there is a prodigious difference between being thin and being fit and the sooner you realise that the better. There is absolutely no sense in trying to become “pretty” if your soul is going through hell facing the demons of hunger and depression.

Taking pride in your own body is the greatest breakthrough to happiness.


The power of perspective..

Happy Woman’s day! The status of women in our society has grown over the years: women have gotten the right to vote, the right to attain education, the right to equal opportunities, jobs and much more. The journey of women in this world has been prominent, charismatic, powerful,
and most of all, honourable. The women in the past years and even now, who have helped, participated and led the fight to overcome the oppression of society’s repressive ideology are truly deserving of the respect, honour and gratitude we have for them.
But, I must bring to your attention the pressure that the powerful, beautiful and independent women face in the world of social media. Many females all over the globe commit suicide, perform self harm, face depression and become psychologically disturbed because of the overload of negativity that they face on the internet. They give a license to people on social media to hurt them, support them, criticise them, compliment them, and decide who they are.
Why do we do so? Why do we rely on other’s words to attain self satisfaction and feel good about ourselves. We should feel empowered because we know that we have the power to make a difference. We should feel good about ourselves because we are proud of who we are and appreciate our body. Their comments are simply opinions that act as pillars of support for our perception about ourselves. Their opinions are not facts. If a person says you are beautiful, it is not a fact that you are beautiful. If a person says you are hideous, it is not a fact that you are hideous. These are simply opinions. This world cannot function without opinions. Losing ourselves because someone called us fat, skinny, ugly, stupid, immature, redundant is like cutting down a huge tree, a source of life for birds, ants, insects and much more that love it and treat it like home, because someone called it’s trunk too thick. Why try to be like someone else when you can master the art of being just you?

“We are flesh; bones. We are skin; souls. We are human.” Gorgeous in a way that only we can understand. Pretty in a way that only someone else can understand. Ugly in a way that only someone else can understand.


Do you ever just lay in the darkness of a room and think? It could be about anything. Life, problems, death, even parking tickets. I know what you’re thinking, that only a deranged human being would do such things. No. Not true. A human being who is emotionally wounded and mentally beaten, however, might. Why, you ask? What could possibly be so oppressive that the human being had to face such thoughts? Maybe you should be asking “who” instead.


Bullying. Oh, the age-old practice of putting innocent beings into the bubble of agony with no escape has passed down from generation to generation. One mistake that humanity has made is automatically thinking that bullying exists only in school. No. No, it doesn’t. Be honest with yourself for a second. When I say bullying, what do you picture? A bunch of high school kids or a thirty year old man? There you go. I rest my case. Self harm is a solution that the victims have invented to cope with this “phase”. Slicing their body because they lack vanity or feel worthless is like a chicken taking off its feathers because it’s not a turkey. Take a five dollar bill for example. If you crumple it, bury it, step on it, no matter what, it will always remain a five dollar bill. Its worth never decreases. Such is life. They may step on you, degrade you, body shame you, do whatever they want, but they will never be able to change who you are on the inside. Your worth remains the same.

It scares me what power these bullies have over us. Changing our perception, changing our mindset, changing our spirit. Simply changing us altogether. Its almost as if a couple of words have the power to release the fluid of self-pity in your brain, and they do. In other words, this is phase one of suicide, depression and self harm or this is phase one of anger, resistance and repulsion. Its your choice to choose your heartbeat or your conscience.

Let us begin..

Hello there. I think I should inform you that this is my first, and might I add, only blog and I’m new to this kind of stuff so bear with me. I want to start this blog to talk about random topics that I think should be given more importance to in this world. So if you’re not into those boring, serious and “this is so intense and deep oh my god” topics, then I suggest that you stop here and enjoy the rest of your day. The first one I’m going to start with is racism. Yes, yes, I know. This is an issue that is already in the limelight. I’m not talking about it because its some mainstream topic that any college kid would write about when they are told to state world problems. But then, why do I still feel like everybody is just simply acknowledging it but not trying to help it? Martin Luther King has had a graceful and imminent impact on the lives of the victims of this stereotypical phenomenon. He may have made the world a better place and more bearable for such people but he did not diminish racism. However, he did something that lived on forever… what he did was ignite the spark of fight in our souls to put an end to this cruelty. That spark was lit then, and it is still burning ferociously with no mercy. But maybe that’s just how I feel. We think that we are making this world a better place. We think that we are helping these victims. We think that we have overcome our stereotypical mentality by sharing laws. But be aware of the fact that I only used the word “think”. The wall of division is growing in some hearts but fading in others. The chains of injustice have loosened around their hearts but that does not mean that they did not rust with hate. Some of you reading this may not agree, and that’s okay. This is how I perceive it and now I will tell you why. Have you ever wondered why there are certain words that only the so-called “black people” can say out loud but we cannot? Have you ever wondered why the places where they dwell are named differently? Take for example the “Hood”. Am I making a bit of sense now? Let’s face it. Getting rid of racism is like…like…like making a poached egg in oil. You try as hard as you can and the egg comes out cooked and perfect but it doesn’t taste the same on the inside. Aaagghh, excuse my obnoxious example but you get the point! Anyways, that was all for day 1. Not that bad huh? Okay, lets just think of it that way. Don’t expect me to be regular with these cause I am a huge procrastinator. No joke. All right, ciao.

Huh. Now that I think of it, I might write about bullying next…